Hello once again, friends! This post goes a little deeper for me, but one of my gifts to the world, is to experience life as fully and deeply as I can, and to use my voice and eloquence to share it in a way that I aspire to inspire my readers. With that, I'd like to touch on a post I made on Facebook, March 8th of this year, for International Women's Day. (Warning: It's a little long, but it's worth the read. Feel free to skip ahead to the lessons at the bottom if you'd like.)
Firstly Happy International Woman's Day! This day is incredibly special to me in celebration, as my focus has always been very much about thriving with my sisters, rising, by lifting each other up. As strong women - We don't compete, we collaborate. We don't compare ourselves to the flowers next to us, we simply bloom.
I have something to share. I contemplated not sharing this, but I have always been one to experience deeply, and share my story, to invoke inspiration, and to use my voice as a gift to those that it may reach.
I was recently a victim of an unprovoked sexual assault, to which afterwards, somebody claimed that I may have been "too sexual." The pain that this struck within me was unlike anything I'd ever felt, but I've since released it, and am more in tune with my sacred sexuality and feel freer than ever in my dance, and in my body. I feel liberated, I feel ecstatic, and I feel inspired to help other women transform in the same way.
Aside from dealing with this, a woman that I held very close to me, considered her a sister, and trusted her through and through deceived me recently. My intuition spoke of it first, and I reached out to her, to see if I was either tuned in or tuned out. She insisted I was wrong, but I soon discovered that she had lied to me numerous times, and when I saw her in person, she wouldn't even speak a word to me. This was both traumatizing and hurtful, but I used it to propel my strength. I dug deep within, felt all of the feelings (I didn't run from them) and allowed myself to be the bigger person in not creating an argument even though I had felt deeply wronged. This was a wake up call to me and caused me to have an awakening that transcended beyond anything I'd ever experienced. An awakening that allowed me to feel, on a deeper level, perhaps deeper than I have felt in years. I am more aware and attuned within myself now than I have been in a long time, perhaps ever.
This message comes from a place, of not wanting a pity party, but of wanting to share with fellow women reading this that you can dress and move your body in any way you desire, because that is your birthright, and anyone that has suffered a sexual assault - know that you did not provoke it for being "too sexual."
Unabashedly own who you are, I want us all to rise together, as powerful women, working together to create a bigger, brighter, more beautiful future for all lives that we touch, both men and women.
Thank you for reading, and if you know details of either of these incidents, I sincerely ask that you do NOT comment them under this status, or anywhere else for that matter.
Stay strong! Stay true to you! Spread the love!
& remember, you are loved.
If you have read this far - Thank you.
Now! To the intention of this post...
I've listed below some very valuable life lessons that I have learnt about staying strong, despite how chaotic, or crazy life and the people in it may seem on the outside of you, pushing you to react.
Don't react right away, or negatively.
Reacting to a painful or traumatizing event can stem from a place of hurt, and likely won't make us feel any better, Be the bigger person if someone is targeting you, or provoking an argument. It does not matter how long you've known this person or how much you care about them. For instance, you can love someone deeply, and still have to address that you aren't comfortable with how they're treating you in a situation. You're doing yourself and them a favour by doing this, as you're diffusing a situation or pattern by not feeding it.
People only have the power that we give to them.
This one more or less goes with the first lesson that I just mentioned. And in my case, with my "friend" otherwise known as the "unnamed" in my world now, I had a choice. After the worst deceit I'd ever faced in my life, I processed my emotions, on my own. The energy that I could have put forth into calling her out when I discovered my intuition had been right the entire time.., I harnessed that energy and allowed it to heal me from the inside out.
This is a very valuable technique that will engage your coping abilities in life. I allowed myself to feel, fully, the pain that that experience struck within me. Yes, I cried, I screamed, I got healing work done, went for a massage, I journaled and I did everything else that I possibly could have, to release the pain naturally and healthily - on my own. What came from that was a deeper awareness, of myself, of others, and of life and how to deal with situations and circumstances that cause us great pain, and not in a way that could harm other people. I learnt... That you always have a choice in where you place your energy, and to whom you give that energy to. And you should never feel succumbed to anyone or anything, unless it is a choice that you're consciously making for the greater good.
Last but not least,
Align your focus on the solution, and not the problem.
This coincides with the first two. What this notion entails, is that we always have a choice. Energy goes where your thoughts flow and what we place our focus on, is what will grow. Choose, for you, and for those around you to feel good about what's going good for you - As opposed to what could be sucking your energy dry and stunting your transmutation into the phoenix that resides within all of us! So friends, maintain that attitude of gratitude and let's continue to work together in making this world a more beautiful place for the living to walk amongst one another. There is opportunity everywhere, in everyday to make a difference.
Thank you for reading!
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(Images by Gaby Saliba & Steve Lukinuk Photography)