I'm starting to remember how vital it is for our evolution to surround ourselves with people who reinforce our beliefs and hold onto the light in us.
I've been doing a lot of shadow-work and shedding many layers daily, particularly around external validation as well as the surrendering of walls that I've created out of fear. I'm releasing who I feel I've needed to be or who I feel people expect me to be and allowing connections that are healthy to form naturally. I'm taking my time to look inwards to build on that self-trust and intuition as I wish for my inner voice to step into it's birthright role of being my guide, something that used to be much easier until negative life experiences tainted my lens, so to speak.
It's a very transformative time in my life right now.
With all the changes taking place, I feel like I'm starting to embody a different energy while feeling a sense of coming back to my truest self. In my solitude I've been getting approached by new people and engaging in deep conversation about spirituality, life, love and so forth. It only makes sense the more connected we become with ourselves, the more we attract those that share in our beliefs whom we will connect with.
In entrepreneurial realms, I've retired from a handful of years performing and teaching aerials so that I may focus solely more on pole dancing and yoga movement expressions as well as my love for DJ'ing and anticipation of my eventual dive into the study of music production.
After 3 years of exploring the intuitive pull that brought me from my hometown of Victoria to Vancouver - I am now back in Victoria. If I had had it my way, I would've moved back sooner but there was something keeping me in Vancouver for many more months. I knew my work wasn't done and I pulled through and created some epic magic with some very talented, admirable people. That magic will continue to grow but I knew right away when the time had come for me to move back to Victoria, the city I never thought I'd move away from in the first place.
Now I'm here to ground and sink those roots in deep, to heal and surrender these layers that haven't been serving my evolution and to find myself on a deep level, as the natural leader that I am, fostering healthy connections and being of service to the community through my passion projects.
I'm happy to be back but it's simultaneously a very uncomfortable stage in my life. Owning your shit is never really easy but there's no way around it when you're striving to be the best version of yourself. I know I made the right choice in moving back and consequently, I'm facing everything that I've carried in that roller-coaster of an experience living in Vancouver. A lot of stuff happened to me ranging from very messy breakups to substance and emotional abuse during my time living there and I used all of that as fuel for my pursuits - but in that, I didn't healthily manage my own deeply rooted pain and at times, it came out in unhealthful ways on people that didn't deserve it. But I'm learning to forgive myself for not having the coping mechanisms or the internal clarity to even see myself from an outside perspective. I wasn't taking full responsibility for my emotions and my own suffering had actually pin-holed my vision when in reality, I look at my life now and I'm starting to see more and more that it's truly amazing.
I'm blessed with the amazing opportunity to be my creative self and to showcase artists and draw communities together at mine and my teams 'Passion Portal' and 'PURR' parties in Vancouver (which I believe are one of the main reasons I was drawn to the city for - to create these gatherings), I'm blessed with the experiences I've had to connect with some incredibly powerful artists both on personal and business levels, I've performed at some epic events such as Vancouver Fetish Weekend in 2018 and Vancouver's Tattoo Convention in 2019 and I've created art that I'm really proud of. None of that is over. I remind myself that accomplishments are not stopping points, they're stepping stones and even now... I have some surprises up my sleeve to unveil. Moving back home is the best possible thing I could have done for my heart, my health and for my work. I don't feel this is a step backwards like some people may perceive outside looking in.
I have two classes starting in June. One is called F*ck That yoga where it will be a vinyasa yin-yang slow sequence with humorous dialogue (Inhale inner piece, exhale the bullshit... Aaahhh) as well as a Beginner Pole Dance and Floorwork class. Both downtown Victoria on weekday evenings. I'm looking forward to teaching group classes again, as it's fulfilling work that brings me great joy to see people enjoying themselves and letting loose discovering new parts of who they are through the flow. I also have an event series that I'm preparing to launch in Victoria. I'm not going to reveal anything of it yet - but I do know it's going to be epic for the city and I'm really excited to watch it come together and to see where my team and I can take it.
It definitely feels like I'm in a cocoon phase. It's dark but I'm planting those seeds - It's going to take time but I'm growing and getting ready to spread these wings.
If you've read this far, thank you very much. I really appreciate your interest in what I'm doing and I wish you a brilliant week of flow and creativity.